Empathy and emotional intelligence

One of the key element that are part the emotional intelligence, is the empathy, which belong to the interpersonal domain.The empathy is the characteristic feature of the interpersonal successful relationships.

But, to what do we refer when we speak of empathy? The empathy is not another that "the ability to be aware of, to recognize, to understand and to appraise the feelings of the other" ones. In other words, the being empáticos is the being able to "read" people emotionally.

You are without a doubt an ability that, employee with success, facilitates the evolution and progress of all relationship type between two or more people. As well as the emotional autoconciencia is an important element in the potentiation of the abilities intrapersonales of the emotional intelligence, the empathy comes to be something like that as our social conscience, because through her the feelings and necessities of the other ones can be appraised, giving cause to the emotional warmth, the compromise, the affection and the sensibility. Let us see your importance.

The Social Radar

If on one hand, a deficit in our capacity of emotional autoconciencia takes us to be seen as illiterate emotional (illiterate in the "abc" of the recognition of the own emotions), an inadequacy in our ability empática is the result of an emotional deafness, because starting from it, they don't take in being evidenced you fail in our capacity to interpret the necessities of the other ones appropriately, those that underlie to the express feelings of people.

In and of itself the empathy is something like that as our social radar, which allow us to navigate with success in the own sea of our relationships. If we don't pay you carefulness, with surety we will mistake the direction and difficultly we will arrive to good port. Let us revise now thoroughly you are we useful in what.

Through the glasses of the other one

Not it is strange that you are believed to only understand to the other one based on what we note superficially. But the worst thing can come when confronting your position with ours and not to "see" beyond our own perspective and of the seemingly "patent" thing.

We should know that our you are related they not only base verbally on apparent contents, but rather many exist other mechanisms full with meaning that are always there and of those that we don't always know how to take out party. The posture, the shade or voice intensity, the look, an expression and even the same silence, all are carriers of great information that are always there, to be interpreted and to give you the suitable interpretation. In fact, we cannot read the minds, but yes many exist subtle signals, sometimes "invisible" apparently, which we should learn how to "read."

An individual empático can be described as an able person in reading the status while they take place, being adjusted to the same ones in agreement these requires it; to the knowledge that a status is not static, they take out profit of the feedback, all time that you/they know that ignoring the different signals that they receive it can be detrimental in your relationship. You are also somebody that have a good capacity of you hear, skillful in reading non verbal "tracks"; you know when to speak and when not, all that which facilitate you the road to influence and to regulate in a constructive way the emotions of the other ones, benefitting this way your interpersonal relationships. They can be good negotiators, oriented toward a scenario where all the parts come out winning.

On the other hand, weak people in this ability have difficulties to "read" and to interpret the emotions of the other ones correctly, they don't know how to hear, and many times are inefficient reading the non verbal signals, reason for which can evidence a social turpitude, when appearing as cold and wanton fellows. You are clear that the insensibility to the emotions of the other ones tunnels the interpersonal relationships. The individuals that manifest incompetence empática don't know how to read your social radar, I motivate for the one that .algunas times without intending it. they damage the emotional intimacy of those who try, because when not validating the feelings and emotions of the other one, this feels annoying, wounded or unknown.

In the extreme grade of the lack of this ability they are, on one hand, the alexitímicos (people unable to express the own feelings and of perceiving those of third appropriately) and, for the other one, the antisocial elements or the psychopaths who save little or any consideration for the other people's feelings and they can rather, in many cases, to manipulate them in own benefit.

Any relationship type, amical, marital, family or working, can you turn affected by this capacity. In fact, diverse investigations demonstrate that you are a main ability in many occupations, especially in those that have to do with the treatment to the public, the sales, the public relationships, the human resources, the management, to mention some. The certain thing is that your applications can be diverse, in the formation of leaders, in studios of identification of organizational necessities and/or of the market, in organizational consultancy, in psychotherapy, in medicine, among other. In all these are a crucial ability to reach the excellence.

Inside other shoes

Proceeding with empathy doesn't mean to agree with the other one. Not he/she involves to leave aside the own convictions and to assume as own that of the other one. You are more, you can be in complete detuning with somebody, without in and of itself to stop to be empáticos and to respect your position, accepting as genuine your own motivations.

Through the readout of the necessities of the other ones, we can readjust our to act and whenever we proceed with sincere interest you will rebound it in benefit of our personal relationships. But you are it something to what we should be attentive at every moment, because what work with a person doesn't necessarily work with other, or you are more, what work with a person in a moment cannot serve in another with the same one.

Mahatma Gandhi sustained "the fourth three parts of the miseries and bad experts at some time the following in the world they would end if people put on in the shoes of your opponents and they understood your point of view"; in coherence with it, he decided not to proceed with violence in your purpose to achieve the independence of your country, and against all prognosis the peaceful" "submitted that propelled was the decisive weapon in the attainment of the desired release of your homeland, India.Certainly we don't have to be as Gandhi to realize that subtle "weapons" that we can use in own benefit exist and of the other ones that you/they are not to destroy but to make flourish profitable relationships for the sake of our increment like human beings. Finally, you are not exaggerated to sustain that the bases of the same morality can be in the empathy, in the one which in turn the root of the altruism is (when being taken with integrity).

How to develop the empathy

Do you recognize the feelings of other people? Do you understand why the other ones feel this way? This is the ability of 'to feel with the other ones', of experiencing the emotions of the other ones as if was own.

When we develop the empathy (the fourth of the practical abilities of the Emotional Intelligence) the emotions of the other ones they resonate in us. We feel which the feelings of the other one are, how strong they are and what things they provoke them. This is difficult for some people, but on the other hand, for other, you are so plain that they can read the feelings just as if is about a book.

You are important here to make a distinction between the empathy and the sympathy. The sympathy is a process that allow to feel the emotional same states that feel the other ones, we understand them or not.

However, the sympathy is a purely emotional process that have with the empathy the same relationship that can have a box aftermake with the work of an artist. In the first, we can fill the correct spaces with the appropriate colors or the appropriate emotions, and to obtain an acceptable copy of the original, without necessity of understanding clearly what a you mean the box.

The empathy is something different: you involve our own emotions, and for that reason we understand the feelings of the other ones completely, because we feel them in our hearts besides understanding them with our minds. But also, and fundamentally, the empathy includes the understanding of the perspectives, pansies, desires and other people's beliefs.

The sympathy is a poor substitute of the empathy, although in some cases, in which people cannot feel empathy regarding some emotions, the sympathy is better than anything. However, to advance to the following stadium of the emotional conscience, true empathy is required.

To be highly a person empática can have your disadvantages. A person empática is very aware of an entire complex universe of emotional information, sometimes painful and intolerable that others don't perceive.

People that have empathy are much more adapted to the social subtle signals that indicate what others need or they want. This makes them better in such professions as the teaching, the sales and the management.