Infidelity in the Couple

The fidelity is the deepest problem in the couple's life that is based mostly on the rejection to the change of having a stable couple, where in fact the rules or limitations are to be with that single person, stiller in the marriage, until the death separates them. The fidelity is something eternal that infiltrates in the being, and as long as it is an adarme of eternity, it is negation of the change, of the impermanence of the life.

Let us see this problem in the concrete matrimonial status: two beings unite in a certain moment of their life. The love, the longing of the one for the other one, the arrival of the children, these and other loops are destined to perpetuate the union. But, on the other hand, the life advances. That so intimate coexistence that it demands the matrimonial life it is never easy. Petty incomprehensions begin to separate the two beings. The love-passion of the beginning extinguishes little by little. The sexual instinct is stumped in the fog of the habit and it loses pressure, it forces and vigor. In this status a third person arises in his life, or in that of her, and the half sleeping desire wakes up appearing the infidelity. Then, when we are outlined a conflict of this nature it seems that the decisive factor has been "the third person" that he/she has appeared in the scenario. The status is similar to that of the neurotic conflicts. The trauma that happens in a certain moment of the life seems to engender the neurosis. The truth is that the neurosis was there and in latent state, and that the trauma has not made more than to crystallize it.

The status in the life are disparate and you grieve it is possible to find a common denominator for all them. If we wanted to search one, that it would be the boredom. The relationships between tedium and fidelity are very deep and they need to be clarified. The lived time doesn't have the same structure that the physical time, which is an anonymous time, equal for all. On the other hand, the lived time is different for each being. A moment of a personal life contains in its intimate structure to everything her. The personal time advances, not evenly as the physique, but discontinuously, each moment is richer than the previous one because the past enriches it. This way, the moments of each life are different to each other. The hope of the future maintains them upright. The sense of the life gets lost when the personal time demeans and he/she approaches, in its structure, at the biologic time.

The problems then that seemed only sexual, they have a deviation, behind all them other problems exist, as the anguish, the boredom, the tedium, the routine, the non planning, among other. Only he/she wakes up all this, when seeing that it exists other somebody that can "cover" that that no longer exists inside the relationship.

For that reason, it is advisable in the appearance of the first symptoms, and being attentive, to converge to couple therapy or psychological treatments to be able to bear the subject and to take out the couple ahead.