Top 10 commissions of love

1 - THE POWER OF THE PANSY:
The love begins with the pansy.
We transform into what we think.
The loving pansies believe tests and loving relationships.
The statements can change our beliefs and pansies about ourselves and of the other ones.
If you want to love to alguién, you need to keep in mind your necessities and desires.
To think about your ideal couple will help you to recognize it when you enter in your life.

2 - THE POWER OF THE RESPECT:
Not you can love anything neither nobody unless before you respect it.
The first person that deserve your respect is you.
To undelete the respect for same tí, ask you the question: What respect in me? To respect to the other ones, even to people that you dislike, wonder: That I respect of them?

3 - THE POWER OF THE HANDOVER:
If you want to receive love, all that you have to make is to give it!
The more love surrenders, more will receive.
Love is to surrender without conditions and voluntarily.
You practice acts of kindness at random. Before committing to a relationship, don't wonder for what the other person can give you, but for what you can contribute her.
The secret formula of a loving, happy relationship and you stop a lifetime you are to always center yourself in what you can give instead of in what you can take out of her

4 - THE FRIENDSHIP'S POWER:
To find a true love, first debit sides to find a friend or a true friend.
The love doesn't consist on looking to the eyes of the other one, but in looking together in the same address.
To really love to alguién debit sides to not love him for what are, for your physical aspect.
The friendship is the earth in which the seed of the love grows.
If you want to insert love in a relationship, first debit sides to contribute you friendship.

5 - THE POWER OF THE PHYSICAL CONTACT:
The physical contact modifies one of the most powerful expressions in the love that exist, you destroy barriers and you believe links among people.
The physical contact alters our physical and emotional state and you make us more receptive to the love.
The physical contact helps us to that the body heals and you tenderize the heart.
When you open your arms, you are opening your heart

6 - THE POWER OF THE ABRUPTION:
If you love something you leave it free.
If you return you are yours; if you don't make it, you were never it.
Even inside a loving relationship, people need to have your own space.
If we want to learn how to love, first should learn how to forgive and to allow to go our wounds and ailments of the past.
To love means to come off of our fears, prejudgments, ego and condicionamiento.
Today I leave all my fears behind, the past no longer has to be able to on me; today is the beginning of a new life

7 - THE POWER OF THE COMMUNICATION:
When we learn how to communicate openly and with sincerity, the life changes.
To love a person is to establish communication with her. You let that people to which you love know that the owners and you appraise.
Be never afraid to pronounce the magic words: I love you.
Not allow to pass the opportunity to flatter a person.
Always say goodbye to people with affectionate words: you can that you are the last time that you see that person.
If you were about to die and you could call to people that you want, to who
would you call?, what would you tell you?... to what do you wait to make it?

8 - THE POWER OF THE COMPROMISE:
If you want love in abundance, debit sides to establish the compromise of achieving it, a compromise that will be reflected
in your stocks and in your pansies.
The compromise is the true test that the love is present.
If you want to have a relationship with love, debit sides to commit to create the relationship that you want.
When
we are really committed to something or with alguién, to abort is never the option.
The compromise distinguishes a brittle relationship of a solid one.

9 - THE POWER OF THE PASSION:
The passion lights the love and you maintain it I live.
A durable passion doesn't come exclusively from the physical attraction, but rather you originate thanks to a deep compromise, enthusiasm, interest and fascination for the other person.
The passion you can revive recreating last tests in those that passion exists.
The spontaneity and the surprises believe passion.
The love and the happiness share the same essence; all that we need to make is to live every day with passion

10 - THE POWER OF THE TRUST:
The trust is main to establish a relationship with love.
If the couple's member is blinded by the suspicion, the anxiety and the fear, the other one will be caught and emotionally drowned.
Not you can love a person fully unless you trust her.
You act as if the relationship that you maintain with a person will never finish.
A way to know if a person is the appropriate one for tí you are wondering:
do I trust her fully and without reservations?
Yes the answer is negative, think it carefully before committing more.

The love scientifically

Loving obsession
What do you search in a couple? (Besides a spectacular rear)
Forget the rules to manage a relationship!
"Person's type that search emotions is prone to fall in love."

What do you feel when being in love? To many people it beats you strong the heart, they sweat you the hands, they cannot eat neither to sleep, and the whole time spends thinking of that so special person. You are as if the love was a state that have your own symptoms, and many scientists have begun to study why they happen these symptoms.

Dr. Love
"The great legal age of people knows what feel when being in love, exactly Dra you say. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist of the University of Rutgers and expert in the topic of the love. Your new book, Why We Love (why we love), analyzes this process from a scientific perspective.

The scientists as Fisher have studied the process of the love to determine what happen in our brains exactly. They have discovered chemical substances that cause all type of reactions, from ecstasy until attachment, and they identified three different modes in those that people are related with your couples: I want, love and attachment.

Desire
In what concern to the desire, the feeling of carnal appetite for another person. the chemical responsible substance is the testosterone. Although you generally associate the testosterone with the men, Dra. Fisher points out that as much the women as the men have high levels of testosterone when they are attracted by somebody. If at some time you felt an irresistible desire to play somebody, you are possible that the testosterone is the responsible one.

Love
The following stage, the romantic love, is what most of people imagine when they think of the love in general. When raising the level of certain substances called chemical dopamine and noradrenaline takes place the exaltation sensation and ecstasy that many of us feel when starting a new relationship.

Although to be of boyfriend doesn't seem to have much in common with certain sports that they involve such adventure as surfing or mountaineering, the goods on the brain are similar. people feel full with energy, excited, in the summit of the world. The love is touching, and person's type that search emotions is prone to fall in love, Dra says. Fisher.

But not all are so delighted to venture. "Not there is doubt in this respect, some people fall in love followed than other, Dra says. Fisher. You depend on the legal capacity, perspective and last tests. "If one raisin for such a painful test that you leave you thinking 'nevermore, you will take much more time [in falling in love again]," Dra says. Fisher. To trust your couple is very important, because you are that what allow to communicate honestly.

Attachment
The final stage of the love is the attachment. You are when two people decide to cohabit long term and they have found a level of comfort the one with the other one that sustain your romantic feelings.

If you are wondering how to take your relationship at this level, Dra. Fisher has some ideas: "Make things outside of the routine." The novelty impels the dopamine levels and other elements in the brain, she says. These other elements include the substance chemical oxytocin, a soothing substance that he/she help to that a person sits down attachment for the other one. The physical contact is it you make that the oxytocin levels increase. "Even when you make massages to another person, they go up the oxytocin levels, Dra explains. Fisher.

Making that you work
Now that you have learned on the science of the love, you can take a moment to return to the alcoholatura thing. The physical contact as to take by the hand and to be hugged can deepen the link with your couple. Dra. Fisher also makes stress in the importance of being open and I am honest. "You are about sharing secrets with your couple, she says. To have good memories together and to learn how to discuss in a constructive way, they are other good ways to achieve a durable love. Therefore, if you trust your couple, you open your heart. Your brain will enter in share.

What do you cause to fall in love?

Why a person in fact falls in love with such or which person, AND not of any other of the thousands of potential couples that find, you/he/she continues being a deep mystery. The random, the chemistry and the probability that two petty receptividad windows open up in the precise moment to be known they are impredecibilidad guarantee. In spite of everything, the science has made some modest advances in the road to understand why we fall in love and why us desenamoramos.

Contrarily to the myths broadcasted by the social sciences in the XX century, the love is not an invention of the western poets of ago some centuries. The evidence notes to the opposed conclusion the love you are a general purpose one that cross opposite cultural and you have probably been with us since they were formed the long term first links among even in the foggy beginnings of the evolutionary history of the humans. From the zulúes of Sudáfrica to the inuits of the north of Alaska, the humans say to suffer the obsessions of the mind and the passions of the emotion that the western world associates with the love.

In a studio of 168 different cultures, the anthropologist Bill Janko­Wiak found a strong evidence in favor of the appearance of love románti­co in almost the ninety for 100 of them. For the ten for 100 remaining, the anthropological evidence was too inaccurate to extract absolute conclusio­nes.

A lot of people in the entire world also say to feel currently in love. The sociologist Sue Sprecher and your collaborating entrevistarona 1.667 women and men from Russia, Japan and United States. What you/they found was that the 61 for 100 of the Russian men and the 73 for 100 of the Russian women said to be in that fallen in love moment. The figures for Japanese were of the 41 for 100 of the men and the 63 for 100 of the women; and, among the Americans, the 53 for 100 of the men and the 63 for 100 of the women.

My own studio of the preferences of 10.047 individuals' of thirty seven different cultures emparejamiento localized in six conti­nentes and five islands also revealed the importance and universality of the love. What I found was that "the love and the mutual" attraction was qualified as the most indispensable in the eighteen attributes that I/you/they were given to choose to characterize the person with which you/they would marry - and that for both sexes and in all the cultures. Beyond the singularities of the cultural recipes, the diversity of emparejamiento systems, the political convulsions, the economic disparate conditions and the multiplicity of religious beliefs, the humans from all over the world yearn the love.

The main qualities that people want in a couple define the rules of the game of the emparejamiento in the humans. The desires determine toward who we are attracted and what strategies they are efec­tivas to attract the wanted couple. The violations of the desire believe conflicts and they praise the married dissolution. The satisfaction of the desires of the other one transforms this way into a half effective one of to procure and to retain a couple, and you raise the possibility of a long term love.

The studio of the thirty seven cultures illuminates with more clarity than never previously which the components of the desire are. In the entire world people search a couple that are kind, understanding, inteli­gente, responsible, emotionally stable, not very demanding, attractive and healthy. However, the cultures differ vastly as for the importan­cia that allocate to certain qualities. The virginity, for example, is a virtually indispensable quality in the couple for almost all the chi­nos, but irrelevant for most of the Swedes and Dutch.

But the most surprising thing for the social scientists was the discovery of general purposes differences among the sexes. The men from all over the world give more importance to the youth and the physical attractiveness, grateful qualities as important signs of fertility and the woman's future reproductive potential. The women from all over the world ambitious men want that enjoy of a social decent position, possess petitions or the potential to acquire them and that they are some bigger years that them. During the whole human vast evolutionary history, the children of a woman have outlived and prospered well when the woman has chosen a rich man in petitions and committed to invest them in your couple.

Is the love then, only a cold appraisal of the specificities of a person? An emotion that blind us until the business failure maybe are not? Some both. People don't usually fall in love with people that lack the qualities that you/they want. In a studio of the answers of men and women to personal announcements was that you were more probable than the men they started a contact with a woman when this mentioned your physical attractiveness and a young age in your person's description. Of another side, more probable era that the women started a contact with a man when this mentioned some reasonable earnings and a level of respectable education.

But no matter how much to who we finish loving you follow an utilitarian implacable logic, you are also possible that the love has evolved for we make blind to the couple's bugs. You are two scientific explanations at least for the myopia that produce the love. They are few the per­sonas that possess the complete list of the wanted qualities, and the ma­yoría has that we conform with less than what we would want in an ideal world. In general, very desirable people can only attract equally desirable people. The law of the love better do­cumentada is maybe that of the selective emparejamiento, that is to say, the trend to that the couples are formed by people that look like each other. Intelligent and learned people spread to marry people with those that can share your ideas and learning. Attractive people and seductoras search equally attractive couple. Although the opposed ocasionalmen­te is attracted, in the durable love the "8" generally marry the "8", and the "6", with the "6."

Not he/she makes sense insist in the bugs of when one falls in love. In fact, a recent studio points out that most of people manifest lover's" "illusion, an excess of optimism on your posibi­lidades of marital success. While on or about the fifty for 100 of the marriages end up in divorce, only a 11 for 100 of married people think that your own marriage can end up in divorce. In a younger age range of single individuals, only the 12 for 100 think that in your future marriage there will be a probability of the fifty for 100 of finishing separating, for well that among those that marry now, the divorce probability has increased up to the 64 for 100. These figures maybe reflect slanting adaptativos that, although deviant of the reality, they raise the probability of success. In accordance with this explanation, the love is an emotion that motivate people to perse­verar in the duras and in the mature ones, no matter how much to the long one it doesn't always work. In sum, the love can blind us in two ways: first, allowing that we conform to with somebody that don't resemble nues­tra fantasy of the ideal couple; and second, becoming optimists about the future of our romance, and raising the probability this way that you are really successful.

The evolutionary economist Robert Frank affirms that the love is the solution to the problem of the compromise. If our couple was chosen by rational reasons, you could leave us for the rational same reasons when finding another lightly more desirable person of agreement with your "rational" approaches. You be believed this way the problem of the compromise: how can we be safe that a person will continue with us? If our couple is blinded by an uncontrollable love that cannot avoid neither she can choose, a love for us and for anybody more, then the compromise won't weaken. The love is stronger than the rationality. You are the emotion that assure us that we won't leave our couple when tropece­mos with somebody more desirable, at the time that indicate to our our couple intention and determination of being always with her.

You are probable that the causal arrow also points in opposed sense. The love can be the psychological remuneration that we experience when the problem of the compromise is solved satisfactorily. You are the opium of the body and of the mind that he/she announce us that the problem adaptativo of couple selection, sexual satisfaction, devotion and fidelity has been solved with success. The scientific explanation is that the evolution has insta­lado in the brain human remuneration mechanisms that they impel us the activities that lead to the reproductive success to continue. You paste it you are that with the time the drug goes losing force. Some are gotten then on the train of the hedonism, to the continuing search of the ecstasy that accompany to the love. To repeat the success with new conquests brings us from turn to the delirium, although this never ends up reaching the same intensity.

The love can be a solution to the problem of the compromise or the intoxicating remuneration for resolute haberío, or both things. In cual­quier case, you are not room for doubt that the love is an intimately bound emotion to the compromise. In my studios of hundred fifteen different stocks that indicate that a person is really in love, the acts of compromise are located at the beginning of the list - acts like to speak of marriage or to express the desire to form a family. The most excellent acts of love point out the compromise of investing the petitions se­xuales, economic, emotional and genetic in a single person.

Unfortunately, the evolutionary history doesn't end up here. Where the desire of love exists, the desire exists of manipulating it. The men double-cross the women about the intensity of your love to procure sexual short term remunerations. The women, on the other hand, have desarrolla­do for co-evolution defenses against the sexual exploitation, for example imposing a long retinue process before consenting in the sex, in­tentando to detect the double-cross and developing a higher capacity to interpret non verbal signals. The career arms coevolutiva of the double-cross and the detection of the double-cross continues, and you don't seem to have end.

Another problem is that people you desenamora as impulsively as you fall in love. Not we can predict with surety who you desenamorará, but some recent studios give us some track. As well as the satisfaction of the desire is very important to fall in love, the violacio­nes of the desire denounces conflict. An elected man partly for your kindness and your energy can finish being abandoned if you cruel and lazy restitution. An elected woman partly for your youth and beauty can lose your couple before the competency of a new be­lleza model. A partner at the beginning attentive it can take condescending. And the infertility of a couple after sexual repeated acts can take to both to search a more fruitful union.

You are to consider the metric hang-over of the pare­jas market lastly. Consider you an even youth of professionals. If the woman's career is shot but the man ends up being discharged, your relationship will be submitted to a strong pressure because your market values are now different. For the woman, a "9" that until then it had been outside of your extent you are now at your service. In the evolutionary jungla of the emparejamiento, we can admire a woman that stay faithful to a losing husband, but who made it certainly they are not previous nues­tros. The current humans descend of ancestors that changed your couple for another better one when the gain potential supera­ba amply the multiple costs that people suffer to consecuen­cia of a separation.

Desenamorarse has dark many facets. The blow can be physically dangerous for the women and psychologically traumatic for both sexes. The men that are rejected by the woman that you/they often love finish mistreating her emotionally, and sometimes physically. In our recent studios we discover that an alarming proportion of the men that you/they are aborted without too many contemplacio­nes finishes having homicidal fantasies. In the same way that the evolu­ción has installed remuneration mechanisms that they flood us of pleasure when we mate with success, you have maybe equipped also us with mechanisms that you/they treat us pain when we fail in our in­tentos of forming a stable couple.