Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts

10/27/2008

Secret formula for separated without rancor

It is sad when love ends and sometimes it becomes difficult to summon up the courage and take the decision. But we have to face things and cut with a link that has no raison d'etre. If you go through a situation like this, perform a ritual cutting soft, so as not to lose touch with who was his partner, getting a little traumatic rupture and be friends forever.

You need:
A photo of his own and another couple. It is important to have been taken before they began their relationship.
2 small boxes.
2 long strips, one blue and one green.
1 almanac of the year.

• Take the two boxes and bautícelas. A bear his name and the other, of the person who is separated. Type the names on the lids.

• Take pictures and paste them into the bottom of boxes.

• Tape the boxes. Put them together in a horizontal position and begin to link them (horizontally) with the blue tape, saying that:
With this tie, keep the good memories and express my wish that we be friends until the end of our lives.

• When the tape is finished, leave a pretty long stretch of the blue ribbon free and begins to link the boxes vertically with green tape. Read as follows:
Our relationship will change for the better. This is a soft cut, which will allow us to grow and suffering will happen soon.

• Attach the final stretch of green tape on so that it's blue ribbon.

• Take the calendar and circle in red on the day that performs the ritual. With the same marker or pencil, draw a circle with a dotted line around the day they want to cut the link.

• Place the boxes tied on the almanac and save everything in a place where only you have access to.

9/29/2008

Divorced but not enemies - Separation

One of the reasons why it is desirable that the separation of a couple is civilized and is by mutual agreement of the boys. Simply, if only for pure practicality, it should have an open field of dialogue regarding the children.

Of course, we must try to avoid, however, that these disputes left over will be reflected in their education and never try to disturb and against the other over the child.

It is essential not to disparage the other, although they have finished the beating or despite being aware that it is a bad father (or mother), in the end is his dad (or mom) and needs the relationship. The child that you will either help you keep what you hear.

It should never hamper coexistence, quite the opposite: hacérsela easy and attractive. It is good to remind you, before leaving, that in the house where he is going to be (if) there are other boys and another mom, who can also tell you what to do. Important is instilling a flexibility and help them adapt. Not always what we will be the only thing good that exists.

Blackmail, the divide and conquer, not to be present in education. Sometimes, children tend to exploit the rivalries and differences of the parents in order to get away with it. This is a small "handling" totally innocent child.

Never be used for children as a weapon against his father (or mother). The inevitable result is that after the separation, disputes over education is more acute and complicated topics that were previously unresolved between the couple. Annoy or harm to another child through all that does is further complicate the situation.

Although not feel that way, these situations, if they live well, can be very positive. It is true that entail more difficulty, especially in the beginning: the child has to adapt to two different families and two systems of standards, however, eventually becomes more open mind, the more assumed maturity and flexibility with regard to relations human. If you know avoid jealousy and rivalry, complicity can be a great benefit to all.

Also for parents, the circumstances offered positive factors. The situation is especially complicated, we must not deny it, but it will give us the opportunity to develop the negotiating skills of dialogue and review our educational criteria, as opposed to having almost continuously. Therefore, no harm done, from time to time, an examination of conscience: maybe the other is not as comprehensive as we thought and it turns out that we do we are too rigid and severe.

In these families, called "assembled", is recovering a little sense of extended family with multiple relationships. Extending the reference field, bringing the models to imitate each other. Therefore, there are some who says that relationships are more rich and positive. Of course, always ensuring that the child has strong affections and sets a person to deal with it.

6/10/2008

Feelings that produces divorce

Having been confronted at the end of marriage, the next step that most people made is to focus and start again, alone, or with his new partner.

The fact find and put up a new home, learn to adapt to living in the new economic circumstances, to organize and standardize the visits to children and finding new interests and friendships, are in themselves important milestones on the road back toward normalcy. Next comes an important question: Now What?, As a first step to cope with the future. For some people divorced the future extends in front of them with little prospect of changes or improvements, even those who have initiated a new relationship are often victims of doubts and uncertainties particularly difficult to confess.

Feelings about the future are often quite contradictory. Although security stems from the continuation of planned and orderly domestic life is pleasant, in our imagination, at least, we want adventure, surprise and risk. Before, many people believed that only young people needed the dangers and adventure, hence that when she married, and especially to have children, establish an adult seriousness of which only had some limited possibility to escape the very rich and privileged. Here now our thoughts and experiences have evolved, and many people experience when they are unexpected changes in adulthood.

Although the anguish experienced at the end of a marriage by the ideas of rejection and betrayal seem unbearable at first, becoming more surprised the enormous resilience of the people, as well as its potential to take advantage of possible disasters and their struggle courageous to start over again. It is possible that the rejection, either at work or in marriage, to recognize and express aspects of oneself that had not been suspected before, or to whom they had not been given the opportunity to be developed.

6/04/2008

The divorce as an alternative to problems in partnerships

The couple and their stable world, has experienced severe changes in recent times, and today's society open and tolerant, welcomed that people find the opportunity to rebuild their lives.

The separation and the formation of a new partner, divorce and the fact to remarry, are now closely connected in our society, as many of those who divorce tend to remarry or form new partnerships, sometimes shortly after the separation.

Usually, the longer a person remains free to marry after the divorce, less likely to re-marry. Many of those who do not return to do so, regret, as they would like to re-form pair, but can not find the right person, while others do not marry by choice.

In some ways it is understandable that those who are separated or divorced recently may be reluctant to new relationships, marriage for them, has meant an experience of suffering, destruction and bitterness such that it is impossible to imagine a second chance.

However, some cache marriages where one or more rarely both members, want to marry someone else, which has been in love. Although it is normal that arise from serious relationships overnight, the common word "enjoy" indicates a study to the strangeness and fragility in the emerging afloat the deepest feelings.

It should also be noted that in relations triangle, where there is already a mistress, who is in the midst of the transition between a relationship and the other, can also experience pressure from her lover, sometimes sufficient to be considered as a kind of blackmail.

The lover, anxious and insecure, fearing that the feelings of loyalty and commitment to family was crossing the road in his new happiness, or may try to threaten to fight with his new partner ending the relationship. And well, although suffering such pressures may respond by taking a decision, its consequences will be very different from those of a decision taken by someone who has the opportunity to think and accept the long-term consequences. The important decisions should not be compelling even for the person who takes, and it becomes very difficult for everyone involved.